So it was the case, that as his ego grew, so did the earth, swelling, in concert, a ballooning mass in space, defying all laws of physics. Once, twice, he tried to check himself, but resisting his urge to engorge was like kicking and fighting himself in his own crust.
He gave in.
Let it rise and billow out and expand, he thought. Sooner or later, gravity will bring it to a halt, and equilibrium.
Sadly that did not happen. He continued to increase in size, first like a toad, then like a tick, in ludicrous proportions until his own mountains and valleys could not be discerned amid the bloated expanse of his surface. And the tension – my God – it was tearing him apart – both inside and outside. He could barely contain the expansion any more, and yet if he kept on going, he knew there was only one outcome and he would explode.
Which he did. The debris shot across the cosmos, striking his satellites, creating craters, dashing the smaller ones to bits, as pieces of him flew outward and onward, into the distant black un-flecked by stars…