Speak, they bade me. And they wouldn’t like me when I do, but ‘Speak’ they bade me.
Well I did. Can you guess what happened?
The earth cracked and tore asunder. Mountains of fire, and black smoke bled into the sky – the moon turned to blood, before the dread day of the coming of Our Lord…
Yes, it seemed so. When I spoke, all their eyeballs leapt from their sockets on joke springs, leapt and did not return, but dangled in a most reprehensible manner, locked onto the ground, and bleeding from their evacuated eye-orifices.
And so I spoke, long, and hard. And their heads exploded, and their brains – what little they had – splattered ten feet across the room, caught in each other’s crossfire, the fertilization of ideas, and smacked into the lecture walls half-fried. But I ignored the smell of searing flab and pressed on.
There’s a place for trolls you know. At least in your mind. A fully formed person with the will and voice to scream bloody murder in fully articulate full-throated screams in defense of your pierced rights. Yes, thank your inner troll – he stood up for you, she if she is a woman – and that’s how you survived 20 odd years of s*** in this world… Hallelujah, and thank God for s*** but someone has to let Him know how we feel about it, and I’m pretty sure He already does so it’s just a dress rehearsal before the Almighty Director.
Anyway… this troll, this speech worm, this entity of monstrous word and weight-that threatens-dares, seeks to crawl out from your dislocated jaws to wreak havoc on the earth…it is better, the least of his brothers-and yes I used a male pronoun. He is the least. His brother is Rage, that is kept in control and check when the Troll speaks his heart out for him. Rage, he is not articulate, and what he misses in language he makes up for in forceful, hurtful, violent actions against others’ physical well being. So thank God, for Rage, else you would not be human, but thank Him too for the words to speak, when he hears them, he is kept from the worst excesses of which he is capable.
So Rage, and Troll, and Geek. The least of the three is Geek, but no surprise there. But Geek is the soul, the heart, the apple in your mom’s eye, the seed for goodness germinated in you by a significant Other. It is love, he is love. And he will love. But he must first love you, and that means all three of You. All of your Troll, for he is necessary and stands up for you three and says what you three need to hear. For Rage because he is always there to step in when words are not enough, and while words go far, even angry words cannot turn back a rifle butt, bayonet, or bullet. Sometimes, (smacks fist) you have to get things done, in the real world, and it ain’t always pretty, but Rage takes care of that, and none of us would be here without him, (raging in the skulls of our ancestors)…
(Raging rightly, it is hoped.) And so Geek, love us all, for we are You, a non-Holy Trinity, three essential thirds of the Whole, love us. Seek our good, hear us out. For we long, desire to be heard. To be heard by you, the logos, the telos, and we hope, the agape. Let our love form as one, with you as our head, always, and we the tail, but always, with your ear that we may speak as one somehow by speaking discordantly, according to our telos, that we may be as one, not as He is, but as we, (and we assume He) mean(t) us to be.
An emotional passage
may not reflect reality or what ought to be done
nor the only way anger can be processed
but I do believe it contains some truth
that we must know and love ourselves
I await others and Time to cast more light on the subject
but for now that’s my rude (rough and ready) understanding…